no because everything IS romantic
i've always been an advocate of being vulnerable. what is life worth living for if not to be witnessed and seen in our most vulnerable and intimate ways? how do we as humans prove our humanity if not through love?
well apparently it's a lot easier said than done because when i started this blog, i was experiencing what i thought was the biggest heartbreak EVER! however, as we near the end of the year, the massive unexplained emotion i am feeling now is the fear of falling in love again with someone.
i met someone that is arguably the best person i've dated thus far. he sees me in ways i never knew i wanted to be witnessed. he gives me the hope that wants to spill out of my heart, and yet there is this pressure holding it in. what could it be? fear? i don't want to punish him for someone else's mistakes.
and yet last night, after 4 cocktail drinks, one green tea shot from the best bar here in the midwest and the slow uber ride home (because we drink irresponsibly but act responsibly #dontdrinkanddrive) in a winter storm, i called him at 2 am and confessed i missed hearing the sound of his voice and missed him. his laughter warmed my heart and body more than all the liquor i had drinked at once. and even after his long week from school, and having a banda gig, he still listened to me drunkenly tell him about my jobs christmas party and how much i missed him on a scale from 1-10.
short story long, courage is not the absence of fear- so fall in love even if your hands shake, even if your blood runs cold at the thought of having your heartbroken bc you dont know if it will. your nervous system is hindering you from possibly experiencing a beautiful and fulfilling romance. so fall in love again and again romantically, platonically, with yourself.
everything is romantic. i romanticize my life and everyone in it. i am deserving of all the love this life has to offer. everywhere i go i am surrounded by love because i am love.
and you reader, are too.